Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
