Pants 0. Shit 1.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
