She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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