the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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