Fine. I'll sleep in my office
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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