love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
