u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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