Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
