So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
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I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
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i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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