I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
