i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
