he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Randomize
