Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
