Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
