Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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