Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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