I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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