i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
