Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
