Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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