and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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