I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
