I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
