4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
