Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
