I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
