Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
