im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize