Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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