Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
