I will die if light touches me.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My feet surprised me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize