Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize