i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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