He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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