my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
