just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
