They should really pass out barf bags in church
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize