I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
