in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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