Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.

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(805): View more from California

i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball

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(602): View more from Arizona

I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(941): View more from Florida

You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.

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(352): View more from Florida

You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?

(779): View more from Illinois

I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.

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