I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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