Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
