i was born a porn star she said
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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