ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You work out of a Hotel?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
