Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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