brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
