Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
