New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
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facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
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She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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