420 ftw
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
