I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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