My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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