i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
