You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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