please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
