$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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