He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?