You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT