Whatcha textin bout Willis?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
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Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
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Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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