Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
