Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
