drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize