he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
As shirtless as possible
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
