Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
