Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
